PHUN PHILOSOPHY #6-Rustic Repartee (not necessary to transaction, but hopefully fun to read)
"Menee a jest iz spokin in trooth"!
My altered-ego, Red-Nek Roy, fancies himself as a "Filosofizur-Ordinayr". We have agreed to allow the use of this space for him to present his sometimes controversial, yet insightful views.
Hay, Red-Nek Roy heer, er Mr. Worthyfox, az I'm o'fishully knowd at formul gath'rin'z lyk shotgun wedin'z, wyn box and Cheez Wiz parteez an' the lyk. I'm mytee fonda comin' up with semi-klevur sayin'z that hillucinayt an impotent poynt. Bein'z how the ekonomee iz lowur 'n a gofur'z ass ryt now, I'd lyk t' shayr sum o' my pro-lost-n-fownd wizdum on isshooz relaytid t' that hot tropik.
"PENNEE WYZ 'N' DOLLUR FOOLISH"!
Weev notist that the majoritee o' sails theez dayz ar fur jus' wun itum. We kan't undurstand wye mor fokes don't tayk advantij o' owur kumbynd shippin' diskownt! Now, wee reelyz that part o' the reezun iz doo too the ekonomee, witch iz still lowur 'n a skwurl'z nuts. Seemz that menee o' y'all simplee jus' don't hav az much t' spend, lyk befor. OK, that's kwyt stand-undur-a-bull. Butt it also ukurz t' us that maybee lots o' fokes think theyr savin' munee wen they spend theyr a-pair-in-tree valyooless tym lookin' at hundridz o' difffint adz all offurin the saym itum, jus' so'z they kin find the wun with the cheepist pryse. Then theyz willin' t' pay a sepurit shippin' an' handlin' charj fur eech itum they purchiss, jus' kuz the pryse iz a fyu sents lowur. They doo this fur eech an' evree itum they purchiss, all the wyl thinkin' that they'z savin' munnee, 'sted o' byin' az mennee itumz as poss-a-bull from wun sellur, witch wee nachurlee hope wood bee us, in ordur t' reedoos the avrij pur-itum shippin' an' handlin' kost. This iz whut wee meen wen wee say thoz fokes ar beein' "Pennee Wyz 'n' Dollur Foolish". Maybee an egg-sample wood hillucinayt this impotent konseptik. If sum sitee-slikur purchissiz 10 itumz frum 10 diffrint sellurz, and payz abowt fyv buks fur shippin' on eech itum, then that miss-guy-ded sole haz spent 50 buks totul fur shippin', jus' so he kood sayv 5 or 10 buks on the purchiss prysez. If he wuz smart, an' bawt az mennee itumz az poss-a-bull frum 1 or 2 diffrint sellurz with kumbynd shippin', then he myta only payd abowt 10 or 20 buks fur shippin', witch wooda sayvd him 30 or 40 buks. Even wen wee subtrakt the 10 buks he sayvd on purchiss pryse, wee see that he still wooda sayvd 20 or 30 buks if he yoozd kumbynd shippin' frum jus' a fyoo sellurz.
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